Welcome to Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery!!! We want you to know first and most important, this site and all information shared here is to help you regain some sense of positive belief in your life after abuse. It is possible to continue and must be a goal for you to succeed after you have escaped your abuser. There is no greater pain than that which is felt when you are all on your own and beginning to rebuild your life. Through the information site, following our radio shows and in our Facebook support group, Survivors World II; YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! You will rebuild and recover with support, understanding, friendship, guidance, and patience. The more traumatic the abuse and the many days spent in the battle of life, the longer it will take to recover. There is a lot of pain when you live as an abuse survivor, its not easy to simply turn off the switch and pretend it never happened. The reality however, is the world keeps spinning and life must go on. If you are going to be able to feed, clothe and shelter yourself, there must be a desire and purpose to drive you forward. We cannot simply shut down because of the difficult path we have been following. We must begin to rebuild and live what we know in our hearts is our true possibility!!! You are given a purpose for your life the moment you are created. When you come into this world it is not for the purpose of being a victim of another's dark actions. YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING TO GIVE THIS WORLD NO OTHER SOUL CAN GIVE. At this point of your life you may not fully know what that purpose may be, but rest assured; every heartbeat has a purpose!!
Unfortunately you are now in a spot where you are trying to gain some sense of your self value as a human being. This is a very difficult place to be, as I've learned throughout my own experience, but it is important for you to wake every morning, put both feet on the ground, and take that first crucial step each day. Hang onto the hope of being in a better place, even if you don't know where that place may be yet. Life brings many pitfalls and stumbling points, I've gone through drug addictions, alcohol addictions, self loathing, disgust of my own reflection, but hang on tight because you never know where the next step may take you.
As a person rebuilding your life after someone has taken your value there are a few things I would suggest doing to help you through.
1) Make a list of long term goals; You can start by creating a list of long term goals, such as I want my education or to build may career in abuse recovery. This will give you and end goal and when you hit this mark you will see yourself as a true thriver, not just a survivor.
2)Make a list of your daily goals; This can be anything from cleaning out closets, going to the grocery store, or checking into a school to begin those classes to keep you as an employable person, which then makes it possible for you to earn a paycheck, pay for housing, food, clothing, vehicle or other transportation. If you have had to relocate to escape your abuser, moved away from your parents or your abusive partner, you may want to have your goal list include such things as; applying for work, finding an apartment, apply for assistance through the state to help with shelter and therapy services. These daily goal lists are important to keep you going. You will see yourself checking off your accomplished tasks, doing silly little things by yourself and getting them done teaches us that we CAN do and CAN succeed at taking care of ourself, supporting ourself, and you will begin your life over again.
3)Start a Positivity List; this list is important for you to realize the good in you as an individual. You want to take a good look at yourself, not necessarily physical traits, but more about your inner person; such as, I'm nice to other people, I have good manners, I have good hygiene, I can accomplish my daily goal lists. These little positives will help you when you rebuild your self esteem from that inadequate sensation your abuser drilled into your head. Many times our abusers have to strip away our value and make sure we are dependent upon them, so we tend to lose sight of what is good in us. Make your list and add one new item to it each day!!! If you are around family and friends who support your healing, it is good to ask them to write down one thing they see good in you. This helps you to see that others have value in you as a person, so you don't feel as if you are all alone in believing your personal worth.
4) Learn About Your Wounds; It's important to understand how the abuse has effected you in other ways and learn to recognize the wounds you carry inside. There are many levels of emotional damage that come from the abuse. Every abuser is different, while they may have many of the same traits, their abuse is carried out in their own dark ways. This means that not every survivor is effected in the same way. We are all different souls with different tolerance levels. While one survivor may be able to walk out the door of their abuser and never look back; others may hang onto the abuser because of the deep need for parental approval or because you truly loved that particular partner; when it was good it was good, but when it was bad it was evil type of thing. Having gone through multiple abusers and relationships myself, there have been different reactions to the leaving and rebuilding, recovery aspect. Each abuser left different wounds from their emotional degradation, control, battery, rape and attempted murders. Therefore, I find it important to understand what wounds you carry from the abuse. 1)Do you have issues with anxiety over small things that wouldn't matter or seem important to a 'normal' person? 2)Do you wake with nightmares or have flashbacks which make you feel your life is still in danger? 3)Do you have those really down days and not sure why?
These are all signs that your wounds are emotional and mental health scars such as; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, Generalized Anxiety because you were always living in high alert of the next action against you. It's important to know the scars you have and understand how to live with these scars of your abuse.
Recovery and rebuilding from abuse is like trying to put the pieces to your personal puzzle back together again. We may have known who we were before the abuser got to us, but then we have to learn who we are now. I have had many different issues from the abusers in my life. I've had to study on these conditions to learn how they impact my life now. Once I began to understand the why and the how of these conditions it made it possible for me to live in my present day life, rather than constantly focusing on what happened throughout those thirty-two years of hell.
As you gradually begin understanding how the abuse has effected you, then you too will learn how to see the new you. There is a lot of personal strength gained from being an abuse survivor. We have to live as 'normal' in society while carrying these physical and emotional wounds from the trauma. We still have to support ourselves and society expects us to act as if nothing happened. They often don't want to hear our sad story of pain. They don't want to understand how these actions have scarred us or why they still effect us. In most cases of family abuse, especially (child sexual abuse or incest) the family will ignore it all together. No one will acknowledge the abuse or that it has any lasting affect on you. No one will stand up to protect you, instead they abandon us, force us into secrecy, or even blame us; somehow they protect the abuser. Maybe its because its too hard to accept that the person they trusted is harming their children, or maybe its because of their own childhood trauma which they have not yet faced. It isn't uncommon for those who've been harmed to harm others, it actually happens in most of these present day cases. Today please search inside yourself. Find and Treasure the piece of you taken so long ago; FIND YOUR VOICE!! Hold it tight, admire its power. This is now your greatest healing tool.
Through finally letting your voice speak of the past & the trauma, no matter what trauma it may be, you will feel your power return. Remember the first time spoken is the hardest, but then you see it has less and less power over you. You are no longer trapped in their nightmare of evil. You found the courage and you will create your own new path in life. There will likely be some type of backlash, especially if you confront the abuser or bring it up around family, take careful steps but believe in your truth. Hang on tight to your needs and your dreams. It is important for survivors to maintain focus on what THEY need in life and what THEY desire in a relationship. It's way too easy to become prey for another abuser, because of the emotional baggage you carry from the previous abuse. You become trained to be submissive and the abusive personalities can detect this within the first few moments of a conversation with you or by simply seeing how you carry yourself when you walk into a room. Those of us who have gone through this type of personal violation have been stripped of value. Some of the signs you may see in your behavior; 1) We tend to carry ourself with slumped shoulders rather than with a confident nature 2) We usually don't have belief that anyone wants to hear our opinions or thoughts 3) We will find ourself making sure to step out of the way of others, standing in the shadows 4) We become submissive in our nature to avoid confrontation for fear of being harmed or disappointing anyone. You may still be doing this with your family even though they do not support your truth of ever suffering abuse at their hands. You must remain strong and maintain belief in YOUR truth and YOUR value. You will begin to see yourself change and others will see your confidence, meaning the abusive personalities will avoid you. Protect yourself and your value at all costs!!! Learn to complete the small daily tasks and gain back the confidence you need to become a productive member of society. This will help prevent you falling back into that victim cycle and allowing others to take control over you and your actions.
When you believe in your value others will believe in your ability!!! Take a breath, make those goal list, those positivity lists, and begin the path to becoming all you deserve to be and achieve in your life. The only person who has control over your dreams is you. When you begin to believe in your ability, take the steps to achieve your dreams; then your transformation will take form and you will become your own true thriver!!!
All information on this site is protected under the copyright laws and protection of Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery* 2012; a product of Patricia A. McKnight All Artwork Creations, donated & copyright protected by Michal Madison; Watercolor Artist Advocate/Talk Radio Host/Survivor Michal Madison Art; http://www.michalmadisonart.com
Take a deep breath, things will be alright. You are on the journey of rebuilding life. Take back your ultimate power. Take back your voice. See yourself beyond the fear & trauma. LIVE
STRONG & FLY FREE!!
From Author/Advocate/Artisit: Lynn C. Tolson "Beyond the Tears - A True Survivors Story".............Patricia McKnight has taken her advocacy for victims and battle for justice to a higher calling: by using a variety of internet sites and public speaking venues, she is able to provide hope, healing, education and empowerment. She is an activist who expends energy and enthusiasm to offer information via her personal experience and professional knowledge from, victim advocate training to public speaking engagements. (Tolson's Reviews)
BUTTERFLY DREAMS ABUSE RECOVERY
Soar away from the darkness
Because ~ Imagine only shadows, gray Imagine no dreams To help you grow, Imagine dreary, dull, cold Imagine no positives For you to grab hold. Now ~ imagine life Colors so true Hues alive, vibrant Bringing joy, calmness Warmth to your heart Positive energy To move you forward
Onward, away from duress.
Take hold of the positive
Energy so pure
Believe that you can Move forward, dream With renewed faith You will achieve success
Let all the positives
Enter into your scheme.
Be like that butterfly
Because ~ Believe ~dreams really do come true
See the metamorphosis Change in you, Soar on, erase the haunting past, Lock the door, move forward Don’t ever look back Be a part of our BUTTERFLY DREAMS ABUSE RECOVERY
We are Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Talk Radio A place dedicated to others who haven't yet found their voice. A place where you can come to hear the words of so many survivors, talk radio hosts, many wonderful guests, who take the time to leave us feeling that we really are in a place where Butterfly Dreams can come true. Your dreams for a better tomorrow. Here you can tell your story, which may be the very key to reaching out to someone who is listening live or on the archive pages. Reaching out to their very soul. Making them feel better about themselves. Letting others know they are not alone.
Butterfly Dreams can come true, if you truly believe that your tomorrows matter. Listen to the words of survivors, and victims, as they tell their
Ms. Debra Mize: Director Prevention & Education Against Domestic Violence Violence Prevention Center SW IL; "Patricia McKnight's work has truly been an inspiration to
many victims as they make their journey to survivor. She has learned to take the
horror of what was done TO her and create a space of peace, healing and growth
for many through her writing, online presence and radio shows. People will learn
and live from her efforts and make a space where the pain has been to create a
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We are a NOT FOR PROFIT organization dedicated to inspire hope, help and healing to men, women and children dealing with some form of past or present abuse, violence, or trafficking, while providing education & empowerment to create prevention within our communities. TOGETHER WE ARE **Connecting hearts & holding hands around the world**
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Do you know there are presently about 50 million survivors of Child Sexual Abuse in our society today? Do you know that at this very moment, every moment of every day, there is a proven statistical (1 in 3) children who are being harmed in some form? You can check the facts yourself through our published report here - Child Maltreatment Report 2011 What you find here & by talking w/ 'Trish' and the team will help you begin changing this ugly reality right this very moment. Scroll through the pages and see how this site can and will change your thoughts about abuse & violence within our homes and communities.
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.Patricia, when I watched your video on YouTube, I found the courage to do as you had done and wrote my own book on incest, NO TEARS FOR MY FATHER. Your courage inspired me and I know all the work you are doing for victims like ourselves. I applaud your work and hope everyone gets behind you with donation. Big Hugs to you and Michael. http://www.vigaboland.com
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