Welcome to Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery!!! This site and all information shared here is to help you regain some sense of positive belief in your life after abuse or some other form of personal trauma. It is possible to continue and must be a goal for you to succeed. There is no greater loneliness than that which is felt when you are all on your own and beginning to rebuild your life. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! You will rebuild and recover with support, understanding, friendship, guidance, and patience. The more traumatic the abuse or attack, the longer it will take to recover. There is a lot of pain when you live as an abused or trafficked survivor. It is not easy to simply turn off the switch and pretend it never happened. The reality however, is the world keeps spinning and life must go on. If you are going to be able to feed, clothe and shelter yourself, there must be a desire and purpose to drive you forward. We cannot simply shut down because of the difficult path we have been following. We must begin to rebuild and live what we know in our hearts is our true possibility!!! You are given a purpose for your life the moment you are created. When you come into this world it is not for the purpose of being a victim of another's dark actions. YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING TO GIVE THIS WORLD NO OTHER SOUL CAN GIVE. At this point of your life you may not fully know what that purpose may be, but rest assured; every heartbeat has a purpose!!Unfortunately you are now in a spot where you are trying to gain some sense of your self value as a human being. This is a very difficult place to be, as I've learned throughout my own experience. It is important for you to wake every morning, put both feet on the ground, and take that first crucial step each day. Hang onto the hope of being in a better place, even if you don't know yet where that place may be. Life brings many pitfalls and stumbling points, I've gone through drug addictions, alcohol addictions, self loathing, disgust of my own reflection, but hang on tight because life carries many possibilities and you never know where the next step may take you. As a person rebuilding your life after someone has taken your value there are a few things I would suggest doing. These helpful tools can be a great beginning process which will grow stronger and become your new taught human behaviors & focus in building your new SAFE life.
1) Make a list of long term goals; You can start by creating a list of long term goals, such as I want my education or to build my career in abuse recovery. This will give you and end goal and when you hit this mark you will see yourself as a true thriver, not just a survivor.2)Make a list of your daily goals; This can be anything from cleaning out closets, going to the grocery store, or checking into a school to begin those classes to keep you as an employable person, which then makes it possible for you to earn a paycheck; believe it or not, earning a paycheck can give you a feeling of accomplishment, value, self worth, even self respect. If you have had to relocate to escape your abuser, moved away from your parents or your abusive partner, you may want to have your goal list include such things as; applying for work, finding an apartment, apply for assistance through the state to help with shelter and therapy services. These daily goal lists are important to keep you going. You will see yourself checking off your accomplished tasks, doing silly little things by yourself and getting them done teaches us that we CAN do and CAN succeed at taking care of ourselves, supporting ourselves; you can begin your life over again.3)Start a Positivity List; this list is important for you to realize the good in you as an individual. You want to take a good look at yourself, not necessarily physical traits, but more about your inner person; such as, I'm nice to other people, I have good manners, I have good hygiene, I can accomplish my daily goal lists. These little positives will help you as you rebuild your self esteem from that inadequate sensation your abuser drilled into your head. It is common for our abusers to strip away our value and make sure we are dependent upon them, so we tend to lose sight of what is good in us. Make your list and add one new item to it every chance given!!! If you are around family and friends who support your healing, even your counselors or comments from a supervisor can all help you add to your Positivity List. This helps you see how others perceive your value, but there is no shame in seeing positives in yourself. It is important to recognize good in yourself, it is a sign of self respect which is often erased during the abuse. 4) Learn About Your Wounds; It's important to understand how the abuse has effected you in other ways and learn to recognize the wounds you carry inside. There are many levels of emotional damage that come from the abuse. Every abuser is different, while they may have many of the same traits, their abuse is carried out in their own dark ways. This means that not every survivor is effected in the same way. We are all different souls with different tolerance levels. While one survivor may be able to walk out the door of their abuser and never look back; others may hang onto the abuser because of the deep need for parental approval or because you truly loved that particular partner; when it was good it was good, but when it was bad it was evil type of thing. In my history, having gone through multiple abusers and relationships there have been different reactions to the leaving, rebuilding, and then the recovery aspect. Each abuser left different wounds from their inflicted emotional degradation, control, battery, rape and attempted murders. Therefore, I find it important to understand what wounds you actually have and how they affect your life today; what are your daily struggles? 1)Do you have issues with anxiety over small things that wouldn't matter or seem important to a 'normal' person?
2)Do you wake with nightmares or have flashbacks which make you feel your life is still in danger?
3)Do you have those really down days and not sure why?
These are all signs that your wounds are emotional and mental health scars such as; Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, Generalized Anxiety because you were always living in high alert of the next action against you. It's important to know the scars you have and understand how to live with these scars of your traumatic history. Recovery and rebuilding is like trying to put the pieces of your personal puzzle back together. We may have known who we were before the abuser got to us, but then we have to learn who we are now. I too have had to study on these conditions to learn how they impact my life now. Once I began to understand the why and the how of these conditions, it became easier for me to live in my present day life, rather than constantly focusing on what happened throughout those thirty-five years of destruction & dysfunction. As you gradually begin understanding how the abuse has affected you, then you too will learn how to see the new you. There is a lot of personal strength gained from being an abuse survivor. We have to live as 'normal' in society while carrying these physical and emotional wounds from the trauma. We still have to support ourselves and society expects us to act as if nothing happened, which is where the issue of Secondary Wounding comes into play. "Secondary Wounding' is the offenses which often trigger gut reactions to things as we are out in society. Such as, you are at the grocery store when suddenly someone walks by with a certain scent on them, a scent you know well from the person who has harmed you.In most cases of family abuse, especially (child sexual abuse or incest) the family will ignore it all together. No one will acknowledge the abuse or that it has any lasting affect on you. No one will stand up to protect you, instead they abandon us, force us into secrecy, or even blame us; most often protecting the abuser. Maybe its because accepting that the person we trust is harming our children can be very difficult at best, especially if we are dependent upon that person for financial or economical reasons. Others may turn away because of their own childhood trauma which they have not yet faced. It isn't uncommon for those who've been harmed to harm others, it actually happens in most of these present day cases.The very first step in your recovery is to search inside yourself. Find and treasure the piece of you taken so long ago; FIND YOUR VOICE!! Hold it tight, admire its power. This is now your greatest healing tool.
Through finally letting your voice speak of the past & the trauma, no matter what trauma it may be, you will feel your power return. Remember the first time spoken is the hardest, but then you see it has less and less power over you. You are no longer trapped in their nightmare. You found the courage and you will create your own new path in life. There will likely be some type of backlash, especially if you confront the abuser or bring it up around family, take careful steps but believe in your truth.
Hang on tight to your needs and your dreams. It is important for survivors to maintain focus on what THEY need in life and what THEY desire in a relationship. It's way too easy to become prey for another abuser, because of the emotional baggage you carry from the previous abuse. You become trained to be submissive and the abusive personalities can detect this within the first few moments of a conversation with you or by simply seeing how you carry yourself when you walk into a room. Those of us who have gone through this type of personal violation have often been stripped of value. Some of the signs you may see in your behavior;1) We tend to carry ourself with slumped shoulders rather than with a confident nature2) We usually don't have belief that anyone wants to hear our opinions or thoughts3) We will find ourself making sure to step out of the way of others, standing in the shadows4) We become submissive in our nature to avoid confrontation for fear of being harmed or disappointing anyone. You may still be doing this with your family even though they do not support your truth of ever suffering abuse at their hands.You must remain strong and maintain belief in YOUR truth and YOUR value. You will begin to see yourself change and others will see your confidence, meaning the abusive personalities will avoid you. Protect yourself and your value at all costs!!! Learn to complete the small daily tasks and gain back the confidence you need to become a productive member of society. This will help prevent you falling back into that victim cycle and allowing others to take control over you and your actions. When you believe in your value others will believe in your ability!!! Take a breath, make those goal list, those positivity lists, and begin the path to becoming all you deserve to be and achieve in your life. The only person who has control over your dreams is you. When you begin to believe in your ability, take the steps to achieve your dreams; then your transformation will take form and you will become your own true thriver!!!
All information on this site is protected under the copyright laws and protection of
Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery* 2012; a product of Patricia A. McKnight
All Artwork Creations, donated & copyright protected by Michal Madison; Watercolor Artist Advocate/Talk Radio Host/Survivor
Michal Madison Art; http://www.michalmadisonart.com
Patricia A. McKnight, Advocate/Author/Speaker/Writer/Radio Host/Survivor
Take a deep breath, things will be alright.
You are on the journey of rebuilding life.
Take back your ultimate power.
Take back your voice.
See yourself beyond the fear & trauma.
STRONG & FLY FREE!!
A Few Testimonials
Lynn C. Tolson "Beyond the Tears - A True Survivors Story".............Patricia McKnight has taken her advocacy for victims and battle for justice to a higher calling: by using a variety of internet sites and public speaking venues, she is able to provide hope, healing, education and empowerment. She is an activist who expends energy and enthusiasm to offer information via her personal experience and professional knowledge from, victim advocate training to public speaking engagements. (Tolson's Reviews)
BUTTERFLY DREAMS ABUSE RECOVERY
Soar away from the darkness
Imagine only shadows, gray
Imagine no dreams
To help you grow,
Imagine dreary, dull, cold
Imagine no positives
For you to grab hold.
Now ~ imagine life
Colors so true
Hues alive, vibrant
Bringing joy, calmness
Warmth to your heart
To move you forward
Onward, away from duress.
Take hold of the positive
Energy so pure
Believe that you can
Move forward, dream
With renewed faith
You will achieve success
Let all the positives
Enter into your scheme.
Be like that butterfly
Believe ~dreams really do come true
See the metamorphosis
Change in you,
Soar on, erase the haunting past,
Lock the door, move forward
Don’t ever look back
Be a part of our
BUTTERFLY DREAMS ABUSE RECOVERY
Mary Graziano ©
Title belongs to Patricia Mcknight©
We are Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Talk Radio
A place dedicated to others who haven't yet found their voice. A place where you can come to hear the words of so many survivors, talk radio hosts, many wonderful guests, who take the time to leave us feeling that we really are in a place where Butterfly Dreams can come true. Your dreams for a better tomorrow. Here you can tell your story, which may be the very key to reaching out to someone who is listening live or on the archive pages. Reaching out to their very soul. Making them feel better about themselves. Letting others know they are not alone.
Butterfly Dreams can come true, if you truly believe that your tomorrows matter. Listen to the words of survivors, and victims, as they tell their
~YOU ARE NOT ALONE~
LOCK THAT PAST AWAY~
“YOU DON’T LIVE THERE ANYMORE”
June 25, 2013
Ms. Debra Mize: Director Prevention & Education Against Domestic Violence
Violence Prevention Center SW IL; "Patricia McKnight's work has truly been an inspiration to
many victims as they make their journey to survivor. She has learned to take the
horror of what was done TO her and create a space of peace, healing and growth
for many through her writing, online presence and radio shows. People will learn
and live from her efforts and make a space where the pain has been to create a
Welcome to Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery
YOU JUST TOOK THE VERY FIRST STEP IN REBUILDING YOUR LIFE OR HELPING ANOTHER WOUNDED SOUL BEGIN THEIR OWN HEALING JOURNEY!!
This is a self supported, organization dedicated to providing hope, help and healing for men, women and children dealing with some form of past or present abuse, violence or trafficking, while helping to build education & prevention within every small community.
TOGETHER WE ARE
**Connecting hearts & holding hands of help around the world**
Did you know there are presently about 50 million survivors of Child Sexual Abuse in our society today? Did you know (1 in 3) children are being harmed in some form? You can check the facts yourself through our published report here - Child Maltreatment Report 2011 What you find throughout this site, or by listening to 'Trish' speak will empower & inspire you to be a voice in changing the impacts of the act of abuse, violence, or other form of harm.
Please scroll through the pages and see how this site can, and will, change your thoughts about these types of actions, especially those which are often kept quiet within our family circles. You can help us share this information by simply clicking the given buttons, or perhaps you'd like to reference some of the information which isn't commonly found on other sites. If you'd like to help support our efforts in trainings, discussions, and tools to build stronger community based resources for victims of all types of crime, there is a Paypal option below. You may know someone who could use some support or are in need of some assistance. If so, please email to firstname.lastname@example.org We can then research the information provided and your location to find a more personal form of assistance if needed. Your story, your focus, your voice can help empower those in your community or life's circle, please share. Thank you
.Patricia, when I watched your video on YouTube, I found the courage to do as you had done and wrote my own book on incest, NO TEARS FOR MY FATHER. Your courage inspired me and I know all the work you are doing for victims like ourselves. I applaud your work and hope everyone gets behind you with donation. Big Hugs to you and Michael. http://www.vigaboland.com
Exective Director of P. Luna Foundation
Funny, Patricia never does anything unless she does it with completion and excellence. I asked her to help me with our organization's Male Abuse Awareness Week Dec.1-8 campaign in 2013. She not only did a week of interviews on the BDRadio Show, she did two! She busted her butt finding and scheduling the right guests for the shows she did for us. I was in awe at the amount of dedication and hard work she put into it. On the air she is powerful and engaging. She knows how to deal with all types of people in interviews and gets the most out of them. A true professional.
As an author, I found her book to be a page turner and just as good as any best seller I have read. I was completely engaged in the story and the people she wrote about (including herself.) Not to mention the editing of the book was flawless and better than I have seen from any of the larger publishers.
As a friend she is very devoted and I my life is much richer with her in it.
Thank you Trish for being a champion for our cause to fight cruelty abuse and if there is anything you ever need from me, you know where I am. :) Petra Luna; PLuna Foundation
Recovery begins with putting your puzzle pieces back together. This can be fun as you get to create who you will become as you continue to grow and understand how the trauma of your horror has all played a part in the continuing pattern of these vicious acts.
For more information, to get help & live support; visit one of these sites who have been assisting victims for decades.
Pass it on to a friend you know!!!!
Helping to inspire kindness, respect, and assisting another, just one little click at a time. We all should know Butterfly Dreams