Patricia McKnight's 'My Justice'
If you have been attacked please follow these few important steps:
1) If you have just been harmed, physically or sexually attacked, please call 911 in the U.S. or your local emergency response number if outside the U.S.
2) Remember that your body is now EVIDENCE!!! Do not shower, Do not change clothes until you have been checked out by a medical forensics team and they have collected the EVIDENCE your offender has left on your body!!!
3) It is important to make a full police report of any attacks you suffer!!! This gives photographed and recorded proof of the attack so the offense can be charged and prosecuted. If we do not report these acts from our partners, parents, others who are close to us, then there can be no prosecution or end to these crimes.
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What is child abuse? What silent signs
should you look for if you suspect abuse? Early intervention and rescue can prevent the lifelong impacts of abuse or violence. In today's world we must be careful about every person who connects with our children.
All information on this page and throughout the website of Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery is protected under official copyright laws. This information is for your reading and informational purposes only. Thank you, Patricia A. McKnight
All artwork on these pages provided by the masterful talent of Michal Madison, Watercolor Artist
Advocate/Talk Radio Host/Survivor
What is Child Abuse? According to World English Dictionary; child abuse is a non-accidental injury, physical, sexual, or emotional ill-treatment, or neglect of a child especially by those entrusted with its care.
Indeed there is much to be taken from this shared meaning of child abuse. Sadly, according to the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data Systems, in 2011 a shocking 91.1% of all Child Maltreatment Reports into our country's Child Protective Services was committed by the parent of that child. The difficulty with this is that when a child is taught to "trust and respect" they can be easily manipulated by that person and will often remain silent, applying reasoning or their own misguided fault, when that person violates or harms them in some way. The child is forced to accept the cruelty against them by this person simply because our society, for generations, has taught our children not to speak against these persons. It is only by empowering your child with trust in their own voice and belief in their value as a human being, that we can instill them with "Non-acceptance" of this cruelty; teaching them to speak out no matter who is harming them.
As a survivor, I can honestly attest to the power of voice. Millions of adults in our society today have carried, or still carry, the pain of being molested, raped, sodomized, beaten, emotionally battered, or neglected as a child. These same adults are now parents and grandparents who are trying to be "Good" guardians, but have their own past damage and broken souls from the abuses against them. It is a new generation of abusers and we are creating another generation of survivors, who in turn will then become parents or guardians and the cycle of harm will continue.
When we beat, continuously criticize, or emotionally batter our children, we teach them to become submissive and to believe they have no worthy value as a human being; no magic as an individual. It will invade their lives for decades before they are able to face the pain of being torn down, depleted of value, and learn to trust in their choices and decisions. This will reflect in their children's lives as they make bad choices and then place their own children in those same destructive environments. Single mothers who have been sexually violated, beaten, neglected and then forced into silence and acceptance by the blinders of society, will often continue choosing abusers as partners. They don't recognize the dangers attached to those they choose as partners because they did not have safe examples in their own childhood. Fathers who were beaten and raped as children, have a greater risk of becoming batterers of their spouses and their own children, perhaps even rapist or murderers, because of the anger and confusion of "good vs. evil" in their own life.
There are many life-long issues associated with these cruelties against our children. You will find various reports and studies of these facts available through National Institute of Mental Health and the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, which reflect the many long-term physical and psychological effects of child maltreatment, along with the socioeconomic impact on our society as a whole for the recovery of these abuses. The most recent calculations are $124 BILLION a year in the lifetime recovery cost of child abuse, and $8.3 Billion a year for recover of Domestic/Family Violence.
Survivors most often have battles with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, Anxiety, Dissociation, Bipolar, and Multiple Personality Disorder; along with physical illness of Fibromyalgia, Anal and Gynecological problems, and many chronic illnesses such as; heart disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, obesity and a varying degree of other issues. You will also find that many survivors of childhood atrocities have battles with Substance Abuse, Alcoholism, Criminality, and are at greater risk of Suicide. The dysfunction of these Adult Survivors also may cause employment issues because of the added stress placed on their psyche. Reports show they struggle within their own family situations, relationships, into their career, early disability due to psychological or physical disabilities brought on by those abuses. This is shared by the many hundreds of survivors I've personally connected with and various organizations developed to provide rescue, healing and recovery for those harmed. It is crucial for us to recognize the many long-term impacts of these crimes against children, as this will help survivors of abuse heal and create a more vigilant sense of awareness, which provides a stronger base for prevention of these traumatic attacks.
As adults of a new generation, as a society of human beings, it is our responsibility to protect those who cannot speak out or protect themselves. If we continue to turn away and ignore what has been so commonly accepted in our past generations, we allow the destruction of human souls to continue. It is only when we choose to be pro-active in defending our innocent children that we can begin to build a safer world for them to grow and flourish as "Good" guardians and protectors of their children.
Types of Abuses & Warning Signs:
1) NEGLECT& PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE of a child may be seen in many forms. You may notice their lack of ability in social interaction, if they are not taught as young children the positive interaction with those responsible for their care, they will not know how to demonstrate this as they begin pre-school or school activities. Learning social interaction is an important part of a child's development. Other signs of NEGLECT; may be their dental health, physical hygiene or buildup of dirt around the crevices of their wrists, around the hair line, on their ankles or knees. Learning proper hygiene and being kept reasonably clean is a very important sign of a healthy home life and caring guardians/parents.
2) PHYSICAL ABUSE may show up in many different forms. You may see unexplained bruises in areas of the body that would not normally be bruised in casual playtime. Many of us know these signs, but a child will explain it away. They are being told they are the "bad" ones and they must be punished. Watch for the purple and yellow bruising on their faces, the upper arms, their back, the upper thigh or buttocks. These are just some general signs of physical abuse more importantly are the behaviors of the physically abused child.
EXAMPLE: Does a child follow directions exactly? (When you ask a group of 5 children to hold their arm up for a long period of time; those not abused or afraid of being harmed will put their arm down when it starts hurting or they get bored. An abused child will keep their arm up until you give them permission to put it down. NO matter how uncomfortable the direction you give them, they will do their best not to disobey so they will not be as risk of being harmed/punished.)
3) SEXUAL ABUSE IN YOUNG CHILDREN: If a young child displays early actions of sexual stimulation, remember we are not born with this knowledge. The acts of learning to touch themselves in certain manners and acting out these signs in playtime with other children or with their dolls, or stuffed animals IS NOT NORMAL. This should be very concerning for any child under the age of puberty. If your child or a playmate of your child is demonstrating these behaviors, then someone has taught them these pleasures. Their bodies will naturally react to the stimulation introduced by others, but it isn't a natural act until they are older and puberty begins. If you see a child demonstrating knowledge of these behaviors, please talk with them.
Perhaps these few questions may give you some insight:
A) Is there a reason you keep touching yourself there?
B) Does it hurt or is it bothering you in some way?
C) Has someone else touched you there?
D) Did someone teach you how to do that?
E) Did you see it on television or in a movie?
These are innocent questions, but you must ask them WITHOUT showing alarm or concern. Remember if a child thinks you are concerned or unhappy with something they are doing, they will automatically assume blame on their part. Don't frighten your children into silence.
A child may try to avoid situations which place them alone with their abuser such as; not wanting to interact with a particular family member or friend; not wanting to hug or sit on their lap; not wanting to go places with them or where the abuser will be; remember to watch for signs of what your child IS NOT telling you. They may not know exactly how to verbalize their dislike, distrust, or what is happening to them. Pay attention to their actions and reactions around others
What is shared here are just a few examples of what to look for in young children who do not yet know how to verbalize what is happening to them or they may be too terrified to speak of what's being done. These are some of the basic signs that all adults should watch for in the children they connect with in family settings, neighborhoods, classrooms, and as we see/hear them relate to other children. It is the way a child avoids others, plays with their toys, or follows direction that may be the first SILENT SIGNS that something is harming them in some manner. This is the time to react as a protector and question without demonstrating alarm or concern. Please be aware of the children around you. There are many ways in which we, as a society, can provide the much needed rescue of a child and give them the tools for recovery; providing them with the positive interaction to provide a greater chance at becoming healthy functional adults/parents/partners in relationships.
For more information on SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF ABUSE, please visit: Childhelp.org or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD
so powerful since 'A Boy Called It' by the
incredible Dave Pelzer" Debra Mize
Violence Prevention Center of SW IL, Director of Prevention & Education- Certified Life Coach; Metamorphosis
"Since first reading this story back in March 2012, I've been using Ms. McKnight's 'My Justice' as part of my curriculum in teaching my students of Marriage & Family Therapy. It is truly an emotionally engaging autobiography with a specific look into the daily survival of a child who is trapped within the unimaginable cruelty of her parents and then goes on to become a victim of repeated violent and dysfunctional relationships." Dr. Brenda Joyce Orozco Markert-Green, Owner & CEO at Afterglow Counseling, Mediation & Family Services, Trainer for American Association for Marriage & Family Therapy, Educator and Adjunct Faculty Board Member of La Sierra University, located in Riverside, California
"Patricia McKnight's deeply inspired 'My Justice' is a book of novels because through it, many individuals directly and indirectly who were once prisoners of abuse have learned to find the courage to find their voice, break the chains of abuse, and realize that they are in fact their own architects capable of building their own Cathedrals of Hope" - Peter Thomas Senese, Best Selling Author & Founder I CARE Foundation
"As an active member in the Retired Teachers Association and with the mentoring of upcoming educators now in college, there is not enough I can say about how this book has changed my entire thinking process. ‘My Justice’ is a book which I highly recommend for anyone who spends time with children.’ Ms. Linda Walcher
From the Author Ms. Patricia A. McKnight; "‘The purpose for publishing ‘My Justice’ was a need to explain and apologize to my children for the many broken repeated violent relationships I engaged in, which have left their own wounds. The bitter truth is there was never any legal form of justice to come from all the years, but I needed to release myself from the hand covering my mouth and holding me captive in dysfunctions and madness all these decades; this is how and why I needed to publish this story."
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Please take just a moment to view. This is how my mother's neglect of all basic human care has left me scarred today.
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National Child Traumatic Stress Network
If a child discloses abuse, it is critical to stay calm,
listen carefully, and NEVER blame the child. Thank
the child for telling you and reassure him or her of your
support. Please remember to call for help immediately.
If you know or suspect that a child is being or has
been sexually abused, please call the Childhelp®
National Child Abuse Hotline at 1.800.4.A.CHILD
(1.800.422.4453) or visit the federally funded Child
Welfare Information Gateway at:
If you need immediate assistance, call 911.
Many communities also have local Children’s Advocacy
Centers (CACs) that offer coordinated support and
services to victims of child abuse (including sexual
abuse). For a state-by-state listing of accredited CACs,
visit the website of the National Children’s Alliance
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