Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery
Welcome to Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery!!! We want you to know first and most important, this site and all information shared here is to help you regain some sense of positive belief in your life after abuse. It is possible to continue and must be a goal for you to succeed after you have escaped your abuser. There is no greater pain than that which is felt when you are all on your own and beginning to rebuild your life. On this site and in our online support group, Survivors World, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! The more traumatic the abuse, the longer it will take to recover. There is a lot of pain when you live as an abuse survivor, its not easy to simply turn off the switch and pretend it never happened. The reality however, is the world keeps spinning and life must go on. If you are going to be able to feed, clothe and shelter yourself, there must be a desire and purpose to drive you forward. We cannot simply shut down because of the difficult path we have been following. We must begin to rebuild and live what we know in our hearts is our true possibility!!!
Spread those beautiful wings, climb out of the darkness, LIVE STRONG & FLY FREE!!
You are given a purpose for your life the moment you are created. When you come into this world it is not for the purpose of being a victim of another's dark actions. YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING TO GIVE THIS WORLD NO OTHER SOUL CAN GIVE. At this point of your life you may not fully know what that purpose may be, but rest assured; every heartbeat has and shares a purpose!!
Unfortunately you are now in a spot where you are trying to gain some sense of your self value as a human being. This is a very difficult place to be, as I've learned throughout my own experience, but it is important for you to wake every morning, put both feet on the ground, and take that first crucial step each day. Hang onto the hope of being in a better place, even if you don't know where that place may be yet. Life brings many pitfalls and stumbling points, I've gone through drug addictions, alcohol addictions, self loathing, disgust of my own reflection, but hang on tight because you never know where the next step may take you.
As a person rebuilding your life after someone has taken your value there are a few things I would suggest doing to help you through.
1) Make a list of long term goals; You can start by creating a list of long term goals, such as I want my education or to build may career in abuse recovery. This will give you and end goal and when you hit this mark you will see yourself as a true thriver, not just a survivor.
2)Make a list of your daily goals; This can be anything from cleaning out closets, going to the grocery store, or checking into a school to begin those classes to keep you as an employable person, which then makes it possible for you to earn a paycheck, pay for housing, food, clothing, vehicle or other transportation. If you have had to relocate to escape your abuser, moved away from your parents or your abusive partner, you may want to have your goal list include such things as; applying for work, finding an apartment, apply for assistance through the state to help with shelter and therapy services. These daily goal lists are important to keep you going. You will see yourself checking off your accomplished tasks, doing silly little things by yourself and getting them done teaches us that we CAN do and CAN succeed at taking care of ourself, supporting ourself, and you will begin your life over again.
3) Start a Positivity List; this list is important for you to realize the good in you as an individual. You want to take a good look at yourself, not necessarily physical traits, but more about your inner person; such as, I'm nice to other people, I have good manners, I have good hygiene, I can accomplish my daily goal lists. These little positives will help you when you rebuild your self esteem from that inadequate sensation your abuser drilled into your head. Many times our abusers have to strip away our value and make sure we are dependent upon them, so we tend to lose sight of what is good in us. Make your list and add one new item to it each day!!! If you are around family and friends who support your healing, it is good to ask them to write down one thing they see good in you. This helps you to see that others have value in you as a person, so you don't feel as if you are all alone in believing your personal worth.
4) Learn About Your Wounds; It's important to understand how the abuse has effected you in other ways and learn to recognize the wounds you carry inside. There are many levels of emotional damage that come from the abuse. Every abuser is different, while they may have many of the same traits, their abuse is carried out in their own dark ways. This means that not every survivor is effected in the same way. We are all different souls with different tolerance levels. While one survivor may be able to walk out the door of their abuser and never look back; others may hang onto the abuser because of the deep need for parental approval or because you truly loved that particular partner; when it was good it was good, but when it was bad it was evil type of thing. Having gone through multiple abusers and relationships myself, there have been different reactions to the leaving and rebuilding, recovery aspect. Each abuser left different wounds from their emotional degradation, control, battery, rape and attempted murders. Therefore, I find it important to understand what wounds you carry from the abuse.
1)Do you have issues with anxiety over small things that wouldn't matter or seem important to a 'normal' person?
2)Do you wake with nightmares or have flashbacks which make you feel your life is still in danger?
3)Do you have those really down days and not sure why?
These are all signs that your wounds are emotional and mental health scars such as; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, Generalized Anxiety because you were always living in high alert of the next action against you. It's important to know the scars you have and understand how to live with these scars of your abuse.
Recovery and rebuilding from abuse is like trying to put the pieces to your personal puzzle back together again. We may have known who we were before the abuser got to us, but then we have to learn who we are now. I have had many different issues from the abusers in my life. I've had to study on these conditions to learn how they impact my life now. Once I began to understand the why and the how of these conditions it has made it more possible each day for me to live in my present day life, rather than thinking constantly about what happened in those thirty-two years of hell.
As you gradually begin understanding how the abuse has effected you, then you too will learn how to see the new you. There is a lot of personal strength gained from being an abuse survivor. We have to live as 'normal' in society while carrying these physical and emotional wounds from the trauma. We still have to support ourselves and society expects us to act as if nothing happened. They often don't want to hear our sad story of pain. They don't want to understand how we have these scars that still effect us. In most cases of family abuse (child sexual abuse or incest) the family will ignore it all together. No one will acknowledge the abuse or that it has any lasting affect on you. No one will stand up to protect you, instead they protect the abuser.
Find and Treasure the piece of you that was taken so long ago; find your voice!! Hold it tight, admire its power. You can use its power to heal you. The first step in healing is the screaming, the whispering, the mouthing of; 'I've been hurt'
This has been the generational 'norm' of our society and we are fighting to have this acknowledged through our efforts on the 'Generation No More' page of this site. There you will find a lot more information on how our past generations have accepted the dominant role in a family and ignored the power play games they have used to torture you or others members within your household.
It's heartbreaking to think that a mother would completely ignore and sacrifice her child to a pedophile husband, but it happens all the time; every moment of every day there is this exact behavior living around us and thriving behind the doors of their home. Mothers and Fathers both are abusers in this, because if a mother ignores, neglects or permits these abuses; they become a tool of abuse themselves. By their actions or in-action they become another abuser. The insistence of denying the abuse or protecting the abuser makes them toxic for you. Although every child desires and needs that parental love and approval, these types of parents will never be able to give you that love and affection. They will keep harming you emotionally by the simple act of ignoring you have ever been harmed or that it has left any lasting affect on your sanity.
Hang on tight to your needs and wants. It is important for survivors to maintain focus on what they need in life and what they desire in a relationship. It's way too easy to become prey for another abuser, because of the emotional baggage you carry from the previous abuse. You become trained to be submissive and the abusive personalities can detect this within the first few moments of a conversation with you or by simply seeing how you carry yourself when you walk into a room. Those of us who have gone through this type of personal violation and have been stripped of value carry ourself with slumped shoulders, we don't dive into conversations, we don't have belief that anyone wants to hear what we think, we step out of the way for others, we become submissive in nature to avoid being harmed. You must remain strong and maintain belief in your value; others will see your confidence and the abusive personalities will avoid you. Protect yourself and your value at all costs!!! Learn to complete the small daily tasks and gain back the confidence you need to become a successful member of society. This will help prevent you from falling back into that victim cycle and allowing others to take control over you and your actions.
When you believe in your value others will believe in your ability!!! Take a breath, make those goal list, those positivity lists and begin the path to becoming all you deserve to be and achieve in your life. The only person who has control over your dreams is you. When you begin to believe in your ability to support yourself, take the steps to achieve your dreams;
Spread those beautiful wings, climb out of the darkness, LIVE STRONG & FLY FREE!!
You are given a purpose for your life the moment you are created. When you come into this world it is not for the purpose of being a victim of another's dark actions. YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING TO GIVE THIS WORLD NO OTHER SOUL CAN GIVE. At this point of your life you may not fully know what that purpose may be, but rest assured; every heartbeat has and shares a purpose!!
Unfortunately you are now in a spot where you are trying to gain some sense of your self value as a human being. This is a very difficult place to be, as I've learned throughout my own experience, but it is important for you to wake every morning, put both feet on the ground, and take that first crucial step each day. Hang onto the hope of being in a better place, even if you don't know where that place may be yet. Life brings many pitfalls and stumbling points, I've gone through drug addictions, alcohol addictions, self loathing, disgust of my own reflection, but hang on tight because you never know where the next step may take you.
As a person rebuilding your life after someone has taken your value there are a few things I would suggest doing to help you through.
1) Make a list of long term goals; You can start by creating a list of long term goals, such as I want my education or to build may career in abuse recovery. This will give you and end goal and when you hit this mark you will see yourself as a true thriver, not just a survivor.
2)Make a list of your daily goals; This can be anything from cleaning out closets, going to the grocery store, or checking into a school to begin those classes to keep you as an employable person, which then makes it possible for you to earn a paycheck, pay for housing, food, clothing, vehicle or other transportation. If you have had to relocate to escape your abuser, moved away from your parents or your abusive partner, you may want to have your goal list include such things as; applying for work, finding an apartment, apply for assistance through the state to help with shelter and therapy services. These daily goal lists are important to keep you going. You will see yourself checking off your accomplished tasks, doing silly little things by yourself and getting them done teaches us that we CAN do and CAN succeed at taking care of ourself, supporting ourself, and you will begin your life over again.
3) Start a Positivity List; this list is important for you to realize the good in you as an individual. You want to take a good look at yourself, not necessarily physical traits, but more about your inner person; such as, I'm nice to other people, I have good manners, I have good hygiene, I can accomplish my daily goal lists. These little positives will help you when you rebuild your self esteem from that inadequate sensation your abuser drilled into your head. Many times our abusers have to strip away our value and make sure we are dependent upon them, so we tend to lose sight of what is good in us. Make your list and add one new item to it each day!!! If you are around family and friends who support your healing, it is good to ask them to write down one thing they see good in you. This helps you to see that others have value in you as a person, so you don't feel as if you are all alone in believing your personal worth.
4) Learn About Your Wounds; It's important to understand how the abuse has effected you in other ways and learn to recognize the wounds you carry inside. There are many levels of emotional damage that come from the abuse. Every abuser is different, while they may have many of the same traits, their abuse is carried out in their own dark ways. This means that not every survivor is effected in the same way. We are all different souls with different tolerance levels. While one survivor may be able to walk out the door of their abuser and never look back; others may hang onto the abuser because of the deep need for parental approval or because you truly loved that particular partner; when it was good it was good, but when it was bad it was evil type of thing. Having gone through multiple abusers and relationships myself, there have been different reactions to the leaving and rebuilding, recovery aspect. Each abuser left different wounds from their emotional degradation, control, battery, rape and attempted murders. Therefore, I find it important to understand what wounds you carry from the abuse.
1)Do you have issues with anxiety over small things that wouldn't matter or seem important to a 'normal' person?
2)Do you wake with nightmares or have flashbacks which make you feel your life is still in danger?
3)Do you have those really down days and not sure why?
These are all signs that your wounds are emotional and mental health scars such as; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, Generalized Anxiety because you were always living in high alert of the next action against you. It's important to know the scars you have and understand how to live with these scars of your abuse.
Recovery and rebuilding from abuse is like trying to put the pieces to your personal puzzle back together again. We may have known who we were before the abuser got to us, but then we have to learn who we are now. I have had many different issues from the abusers in my life. I've had to study on these conditions to learn how they impact my life now. Once I began to understand the why and the how of these conditions it has made it more possible each day for me to live in my present day life, rather than thinking constantly about what happened in those thirty-two years of hell.
As you gradually begin understanding how the abuse has effected you, then you too will learn how to see the new you. There is a lot of personal strength gained from being an abuse survivor. We have to live as 'normal' in society while carrying these physical and emotional wounds from the trauma. We still have to support ourselves and society expects us to act as if nothing happened. They often don't want to hear our sad story of pain. They don't want to understand how we have these scars that still effect us. In most cases of family abuse (child sexual abuse or incest) the family will ignore it all together. No one will acknowledge the abuse or that it has any lasting affect on you. No one will stand up to protect you, instead they protect the abuser.
Find and Treasure the piece of you that was taken so long ago; find your voice!! Hold it tight, admire its power. You can use its power to heal you. The first step in healing is the screaming, the whispering, the mouthing of; 'I've been hurt'
This has been the generational 'norm' of our society and we are fighting to have this acknowledged through our efforts on the 'Generation No More' page of this site. There you will find a lot more information on how our past generations have accepted the dominant role in a family and ignored the power play games they have used to torture you or others members within your household.
It's heartbreaking to think that a mother would completely ignore and sacrifice her child to a pedophile husband, but it happens all the time; every moment of every day there is this exact behavior living around us and thriving behind the doors of their home. Mothers and Fathers both are abusers in this, because if a mother ignores, neglects or permits these abuses; they become a tool of abuse themselves. By their actions or in-action they become another abuser. The insistence of denying the abuse or protecting the abuser makes them toxic for you. Although every child desires and needs that parental love and approval, these types of parents will never be able to give you that love and affection. They will keep harming you emotionally by the simple act of ignoring you have ever been harmed or that it has left any lasting affect on your sanity.
Hang on tight to your needs and wants. It is important for survivors to maintain focus on what they need in life and what they desire in a relationship. It's way too easy to become prey for another abuser, because of the emotional baggage you carry from the previous abuse. You become trained to be submissive and the abusive personalities can detect this within the first few moments of a conversation with you or by simply seeing how you carry yourself when you walk into a room. Those of us who have gone through this type of personal violation and have been stripped of value carry ourself with slumped shoulders, we don't dive into conversations, we don't have belief that anyone wants to hear what we think, we step out of the way for others, we become submissive in nature to avoid being harmed. You must remain strong and maintain belief in your value; others will see your confidence and the abusive personalities will avoid you. Protect yourself and your value at all costs!!! Learn to complete the small daily tasks and gain back the confidence you need to become a successful member of society. This will help prevent you from falling back into that victim cycle and allowing others to take control over you and your actions.
When you believe in your value others will believe in your ability!!! Take a breath, make those goal list, those positivity lists and begin the path to becoming all you deserve to be and achieve in your life. The only person who has control over your dreams is you. When you begin to believe in your ability to support yourself, take the steps to achieve your dreams;
Welcome to our new and growing site to help you REBUILD AND RECOVER from the trauma of abuse. Understanding is the first step, making goal list, working hard to complete them, and then putting your personal puzzle pieces back together as you move forward from what has been so painful.
Hang on tight and know you have the strength, ability and drive to live in all the magnificent glory you deserve!!
Hang on tight and know you have the strength, ability and drive to live in all the magnificent glory you deserve!!
You have the power now!
You have the control of your future!
Your wings will spread and carry you to the true purpose of your life helping you to achieve your dreams and live forever safe!!
Your butterfly will climb out of its cocoon; spread its wings and blossom
As you begin to become
All that shines within
You deserve roses in your garden of life
Rebuild, Recover, Blossom!!!
You have the control of your future!
Your wings will spread and carry you to the true purpose of your life helping you to achieve your dreams and live forever safe!!
Your butterfly will climb out of its cocoon; spread its wings and blossom
As you begin to become
All that shines within
You deserve roses in your garden of life
Rebuild, Recover, Blossom!!!
All information on this site is protected under the copyright laws and protection of
Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery* 2012; a product of Patricia A. McKnight
All Artwork Creations, donated & copyright protected by Michal Madison; Watercolor Artist/Advocate/Radio Host/Survivor
Michal Madison Art; http://www.michalmadisonart.com
Thank you for respecting all rights set forth on this website. Our information is to help abuse victims recover and rebuild, find hope and achieve dreams of happiness in life.
We look forward to the upcoming 2013 year and building dreams together through supporting ALL SURVIVORS of abuse through the Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery and Blog Talk Radio Programming.
Patricia A. McKnight, Advocate/Author/Speaker/Writer/Radio Host/Survivor
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery
Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery* 2012; a product of Patricia A. McKnight
All Artwork Creations, donated & copyright protected by Michal Madison; Watercolor Artist/Advocate/Radio Host/Survivor
Michal Madison Art; http://www.michalmadisonart.com
Thank you for respecting all rights set forth on this website. Our information is to help abuse victims recover and rebuild, find hope and achieve dreams of happiness in life.
We look forward to the upcoming 2013 year and building dreams together through supporting ALL SURVIVORS of abuse through the Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery and Blog Talk Radio Programming.
Patricia A. McKnight, Advocate/Author/Speaker/Writer/Radio Host/Survivor
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery
Survivors World - Is an online group for both Men and Women seeking help or support from others who are dealing with issues of Abuse and Violence. Either as victims or survivors we all need to know - YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!
Please create membership to access this discussion and support page!!
All members will be Manually Approved and are Required to fill out the "Form Request". This will enable us to ensure private access to members only who have had a history of abuse or are dealing with some type of abusive environment.
By completeing the Membership Form:
You agree you are 18 yrs of age or older. You agree that all information within the group must stay in the group. You understand this group support in no way constitutes for professional services of any type. You understand that Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery, Survivors World Support Group or any of its affiliated forums or groups, are not liable for your personal safety or for professional services through resources. We will do our best to support all members and guide them to any suggested resources possible, but are not personally responsible for the information or assistance provided by those said resources. You agree that participation in Survivors World, or any pages on this site or forum discussions, is done of your own free decision and we cannot be held responsible for any choice you make to stay or leave your abuser, putting yourself or those around you in danger.
If you need assistance immediately, pls contact 911 or call one of the suggested hotline numbers below for further assistance.
You must be a VICTIM OR SURVIVOR to be a MEMEBER in Survivors World. You can sign in or request membership through this link:
Please create membership to access this discussion and support page!!
All members will be Manually Approved and are Required to fill out the "Form Request". This will enable us to ensure private access to members only who have had a history of abuse or are dealing with some type of abusive environment.
By completeing the Membership Form:
You agree you are 18 yrs of age or older. You agree that all information within the group must stay in the group. You understand this group support in no way constitutes for professional services of any type. You understand that Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery, Survivors World Support Group or any of its affiliated forums or groups, are not liable for your personal safety or for professional services through resources. We will do our best to support all members and guide them to any suggested resources possible, but are not personally responsible for the information or assistance provided by those said resources. You agree that participation in Survivors World, or any pages on this site or forum discussions, is done of your own free decision and we cannot be held responsible for any choice you make to stay or leave your abuser, putting yourself or those around you in danger.
If you need assistance immediately, pls contact 911 or call one of the suggested hotline numbers below for further assistance.
You must be a VICTIM OR SURVIVOR to be a MEMEBER in Survivors World. You can sign in or request membership through this link:
Childhelp U.S.A.
http://www.childhelp.org
1-800-4-A-CHILD
(1-800-422-4453)
NationalDomestic Violence Hotline
http://www.thehotline.org/
1-800-799-SAFE(7233)
Rape,Abuse,Incest National Network
RAINN.org
http://www.rainn.org/
1-800-656-HOPE(4673)
http://www.childhelp.org
1-800-4-A-CHILD
(1-800-422-4453)
NationalDomestic Violence Hotline
http://www.thehotline.org/
1-800-799-SAFE(7233)
Rape,Abuse,Incest National Network
RAINN.org
http://www.rainn.org/
1-800-656-HOPE(4673)
All information supplied here comes directly to my attention and will not be shared in any public or private manner without your prior approval. Thank you, Patricia A. McKnight
Please continue to scroll down for membership in online support group; Survivors World. Form must be completed to be accepted. All information is kept in strict privacy and will not be shared here or publicly for any reason. Your privacy and protection of what you share is of most important concern, this is your safe place to share!!
YOUR ROSE WILL BEGIN TO BLOSSOM. YOUR BUTTERFLY WILL BEGIN TO TRANSFORM INTO THE WONDEROUS BEAUTY THAT IS THE CREATION OF YOU!!
LIVE STRONG & FLY FREE!!
LIVE STRONG & FLY FREE!!
Please use this box to submit your personal information to be stored about group members. You can also use this to submit resource information to be shared on our resources tab. If you need any other assistance please email the administrator at butterflydreamsabuserecovery@gmail.com, thank you ~~trish
IS YOUR COMMUNITY SAFE FROM SEX OFFENDERS?
This link allows you to research sex offenders in your area. Please take a moment to check your state!! Think someone may be a sex offender, use this tool to search for convictions and their last known location. Keeping children safe is every adult's responsibility!!
This link allows you to research sex offenders in your area. Please take a moment to check your state!! Think someone may be a sex offender, use this tool to search for convictions and their last known location. Keeping children safe is every adult's responsibility!!
Follow this link to find resources of help in your local area. Easy to use drop down, multiple choice resource locator
http://www.victimsofcrime.org/help-for-crime-victims/find-local-assistance---connect-directory
http://www.victimsofcrime.org/help-for-crime-victims/find-local-assistance---connect-directory
This is my inner child whose life changed at just 5 yrs old. Her world was put into poetry and music shared here. Written by: Mary E. Graziano; Educator/Advocate
Music/Song by: George Robertson
Fndr: Healing Through Creativity
Music/Song by: George Robertson
Fndr: Healing Through Creativity
Email Direct: butterflydreamsabuserecovery@gmail.com